Tuesday, June 10, 2014

{currently. volume 4.}

Cheezer smile. 

Beeb feet.

Lounging. With frizzy hair courtesy the horrid humidity and mom. 
And dad, Step II board studying in the background.

She's just cute, is all. And no I will not comb her curls... ever. :)

Way into dancing these days. This sweet signature hand waving move is borrowed from her friend Jack.

Thinking about: Too much, as per usual. My mind is like: "hmm, I wonder when I should enroll in nursing school prereqs. Probably not until we actually know where B will be for residency. But maybe I could start them now? Margot's almost 16 months old now. It feels like it's been longer than that. But then look at all those pictures of her when she was suuuuuuper little! Mom time is weird- it's viscous at the same time that it's not. Time moves slow as molasses, but then you look up and you're 25 years old and asking for a new vacuum cleaner for your birthday. What is up with that? What is up with a lot of things, actually? Like, God. Does He hear me when I pray? How about those poor girls in Nigeria? Why does my mind take me to these dark and gloomy places, the places that prompt me to cry out and wonder what this faith stuff is all about? To mull over the tough questions, never finding a satisfactory answer? Maybe I should just drink more coffee." Yeahhhhh. That's my brain. 
Reading: This helpful little tome. Gosh, I wish I didn't have to read it though. You see, Margot is what some people call "spirited" or "high needs". Like, during her short stay in the hospital nursery under the bili lights, at just a day old, she'd toss and turn and scream and cry and try to rip her goggles off. Not exactly the sweetly sleeping little lamb of a newborn that I'd imagined. Our wonderful nurse, Noora, who was studying to become a midwife and so understood my zany crunchy ways, sent us home with a wink and a smile and a "good luck with THIS one. She's going to be super fun to co-sleep with". At the time, Brendan and I had noooo idea what we were in for, but that Noora was so prescient. Because it turns out, Margot is the most terrible sleeper in the world. Her brain is like mine, I suppose. It just doesn't shut off. She is a bear to get down to sleep... and a bear during the night, when she wakes approximately 50,000 times a night to nurse or flip or flop or tap B's shoulder. And we DO have her in the crib at least part of the time, it's just that without co-sleeping we'd sleep zero hours a night. And a handful of broken hours of sleep for all of us trumps NO sleep, I guess. Anyway- that's problem numero uno, but she's also an awful eater and basically just wants us to hold her AND let her run around in the backyard at the same time, even when we explain to her that that's not rationally possible. Because: spirited. So, I really hope this book is as helpful as people claim, because if not.... *trails off and stares despondently at the wine glass*
Listening to: The "Late Night Jazz" Spotify station. Like honey to my ears. 
Watching: The computer screen? Ha. Well, I'm still on my Madmen kick. (SO GOOD. CAN'T STOP.) But I also have the movie Margot queued for tonight. It's about one of the most beautiful and lovely prima ballerinas ever to dance- Margot Fonteyn... and so what if I *do* like the name Margot because of her and that beautiful Huguenot queen Margot? That's totally normal. #historynerd
Thankful for: I feel like I always answer this way, but it's always true: I'm grateful for Brendan. So, so grateful. I can't imagine life without him. We're just simpatico. Or, as I'd say in my Myspace using dayz: MFEO. I'm also thankful for iced coffee, window AC's, jersey knit skirts, my mother, my daughter, my bess fran, having a backyard/deck, delicious gin-ginger drinks, Danville amigos, books, and laughter. 

  • to figure out what we're having for dinner tonight. (I'm allllllways behind on meal planning. *hangs head in shame*)
  • to get my booty out on a long walk today.... and maybe order that Barre-Pilates DVD I've been eyeing? hmmm.
  • to somehow finagle our finances and summer schedule to include a trip to see my Oregon familia AND go to San Diego AND let's just throw in a freebie trip to Ireland/Wales. #nothappening #medschoolbudget
  • to mastermind world peace.... and also figure out the best way to never have to use my oven or stove during the summer months. 

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